We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I love black thongs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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