i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize