Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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