Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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