You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
