she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
