there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
