Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
