I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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