I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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