its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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