You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
