So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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