I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
