i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize