No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
