well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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