My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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