And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
