rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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