Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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