I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
