I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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