The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
