just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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