Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
