plz talk dirty to me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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