I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
