I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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