I'm eating all of the evidence.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
