and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
