Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
