It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
