so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
