I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
