I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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