The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
