Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
