I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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