your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
