im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
