So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
