Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
