I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
