How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
