how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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