Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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