im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am one with the molecules
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
