Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
