Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
