Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
