um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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