dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You've changed since you got that strap on
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
