next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
