just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.