i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...