Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar