Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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