the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
