I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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